Claude's Cape Cod Haiku

It's so close!
Empty beaches, and drivable roads -
Patience, grasshopper.

Billiam For Prez!

Ok, so Claude and MDG are both fickle. After watching the recently glamorous Billiam on YouTube, and again on CNN, we must say our vote is now up in the air. A write in candidate for the ballots, perhaps?

We love Billiam. He asks an important question on our future environmental trajectory and scares the chickens out of Mitt Romney. Now, why is that? Mitt can't face off with a snowman? WTF? Pehaps he needs to start pumping some iron, or take a multi-vitamin, or try eating Wheaties. This shrugging off a critical question on voters minds leaves us only to conclude Mitt has no answer. --- red flag for Mitt ---

In case you missed it, here's the YouTube clip below of Billiam's response to Mitt's shrugging off his first election question...



Brilliant! Look forward to seeing Billiam at the next debates, we'll be watching.

How YouTube Changed the Election

Flash forward to the election count for 2008... did YouTube matter? Yes, you betcha'. How? Here's some of the tangible ways YouTube changed the 2008 United States presidential election:

• Accountability. If you make mistakes now, made mistakes then, or are making mistakes in the future, YouTube will be there to illuminate them. In living color, on replay, and on demand.
• Real questions. YouTube brings the power to the people. Voila, a format for average Joe to ask questions of the candidates, and let their voice actually be heard. MDG's still a little bit frightened by the man with his pet gun, asking questions on gun control, but hey, power to the people.
  
• Greater media reach. YouTube's acquisition by Google makes it financially injected, and poised for pole position.
• It came at you fast like a spider monkey. Suddenly the masses, along with the candidates realized, YouTube does matter. It matters a whole lot. It happened a bit fast, like the clip at which Rob and Big, Meaty and Mini Horse are growing on us, but that's cool and the gang, yo.
• It connected with you on a different level than traditional media like television, radio & newspapers.
  

Here's just one of the many YouTube presidential 2008 clips already out there, titled "Vote Different". This great mash-up video is created by Philip de Vellis, we're lovin' the 1984 reference at the end:



Note: Don't try and watch this YouTube clip over dial-up. That's not a good thing.

Claude's predicting a winner at this junction in the race. True, it's early on, and there's a whole lotta campaigning and speaches and fund raising up the wazoo left to be done, but Claude's going with Barack Obama for 2008. It wasn't the Obama girl YouTube video that got us, just for the record, but we're behind you all the way. Go Barack, you already got our vote!

9 Things You Didn't Know About Claude

9. He's mostly falls into the 15 percent of Americans who hate the remaining 85 percent of Americans, as identified by David Letterman.
8. His favorite color is green, celadon green right now.
7. He does not like cats, and isn't particularly enamored of lolcats either.
6. He doesn't have a middle name.
5. Small children scare him.
4. He was once asked to join Ripley's-Believe-it-or-Not Troupe, but politely, yet condescendingly declined.
3. He likes to sing Neil Diamond in the shower.
2. He and Britney have the following things in common: spent time in the same rehab penthouse, sport the same do, and look pretty f*ing sweet in green sweatpant suits.
1. He taught Oscar the f*bomb when he was five.

Claude's Howze

Man, Claude's getting amped up about his upcoming trip to the land of Led Zeppelin and gettin' the Led out. Home of the best damn chicken wings you'll ever taste, in fifty different flavors to choose from. They're all good. Home of Rod Serling and inspiration to his Twighlight Zone.

Also in the land where Claude hails from is Claude's howze. He pretty much big pimps it there, and we recently set up a photo shoot to share a glimpse into Claude's life. Like Britney's recent glam shoot, this one didn't go so well at times. Unlike that two dollar magazine though, we're actually gonna share with you the pix we got...

Shout out huge "THANKS" to Mystery Dinner Guest's friend, Z, for providing the sweet photo shoot and awesome captions! This is best read while listening to Led Zepplin and eating chicken wings...



This first one is of the woman and the horse. At first you're like, "Who is this woman and apparently the horse she rode in on????" Then you're like is this Claude's long lost wife and the horse she's been riding? But then finally you realize this is Claude's long lost illegitimate horse of a son......(insert joke here)

Then I thought I'd take an aerial shot of Claude's future dream and I noticed Oscar who I had forgot to put in the pics. Needless to say he was pissed off even worse then usual.....

So I hurried to get Oscar into the shot as quickly as possible and shot this one.....big mistake. As soon as Mr. Grouch heard the flash go off he knew I had got him from his left side which is his BAD SIDE! He started screaming " Motherfucker I've been in this business 38 years and no one shoots me from my motherfucking left side.........motherfucker!!" "Look at my contract I have final approval over all fucking pictures.....SHOOT IT AGAIN!!!!!

So I shot this one and the grouch was pleased. He was like "Yeah motherfucker!! You take a shot of the grouch you take it head on baby!! You get the full grouch effect motherfucker!!!" Man that grouch has a filthy fucking mouth....later----Z

Contagious Weight Loss

It's about time, the funk soul brother.

We've started a new meme, and call it "Contagious Weight Loss". It's about losing weight leveraging the higher powers of visualization, and supporting others using this process. It's a private club, and Mystery Dinner Guest, C.R. and M.F. are all embarking on it together as the premier members.

You see, the piles in the closet were getting bigger, the pants from last spring that the dryer went to town on were multiplying. We needed to make a change. A change that's going to last. That's where Contagious Weight Loss walks in the door.

We've set out weight goals. This action is of primary importance. If you don't know what you're goal is, your mind has a very hard time seeing it. Um, Duh. How can you win the race when you don't know where the finish line is?

We set an event into place for when we achieve our goals, we can already see it. We're already achieving it in the future.

I've got an outfit planned for the event, white tank top, grey sweat pants, and a towel I'm gonna wear around my neck. Perfect for running up the steps from Rocky in Philly, PA. We're gonna be there!

Game On!

A Plea From Claude...

So, normally I wouldn't do this, but Claude has begged that he please have a bit of reprieve from the constant comparisons to the Hollywood over-and-already-done-with crowd. He's really a bit down in the dumps at this point, and is still having a difficult recovery from his Jackson P. attack. The latest Britney comment might have been the one that put him over the edge.

Please, give Claude some space at this delicate time. He's also a little bit shaken by the confusing events of last evenings television broadcast, where he swears he saw Tucker Carlson sporting a full length tie. A WHAT? That's right. Claude's whole world turned upside down just like that.

Peace Out.

Thanks Distilled! Wikipedia-Less Google for the Masses

It's been brought to MDG's attention there's a new way to search using Google! It seems our wishes have been granted, finally, a way to get Google search results without having to wade through buckets full of Wikipedia links. The talented and fun group of folks over at Distilled, in the UK, have developed a neat little plug-in for Firefox, which allows you to search Google sans Wikipedia.

Wikipedia seems to have risen in its incredible wiki-strength in Google, to a level of super sys admin, or David Beckham and Posh, or some kind of crazy bitch slapping hurricane all out of control like. We are just looking for a way to tame the beast, opt out of wiki results, turn off the wiki-ality.

For you fans in the UK, they're close to releasing a Google UK version... as well as considering a similar plug-in for removing eBay results. Sweet!

We are thrilled, and so, so thankful. Thanks Distilled, you guys rock the house!!!

Yours Truly,
MDG, Claude, and the Citizens in Search of a Wikiless Google

Rebuttal from Claude (ooohhhhhh and He is Pissed!)

Oh my stars, my ears ache! The abuse I had to endure yesterday, after coming home from the market and having to relay my conversation where blasphemous statements were heard, like "Claude's finished, he's done, he's like Cher!" and "Nobody knows him, he should hang it up". I mean, it was all I could do to keep tabs of the former celeb list he was getting compared to, names like Barry Manillo, and Chachi. Oh wait a minute, didn't I see a reality TV show starring Scott Baoi just last night? Ummm, so, right then and carry on. And it's just a matter of time before we hear about Cher making a million on eBay, selling her locks or leather ass chaps.

So we did have round two conversation, where I tried my best to rebut for Claude. He was beside himself, drowning in sorrows that were only just setting in. And, then snap! The worst of the celeb comparisons yet, "He's like Britney".

Good god dang! I aint got no rebuttal on that one. Claude's down for the count now, KO.

If you want to send Claude a kind note, the Comments are now open. Peace out, MDG

Ardeo - Mediterranean Bistro

With the recent Fourth of July already past us, the summer is cruising by at an alarmingly fast speed. With all the bustle of the summer, in came a new restaurant to Brewster, Ardeo. Ardeo has locations on the Cape now in Brewster, South Yarmouth, Yarmouth, and Hyannis.

Ardeo is a Mediterranean style bistro, set in the building where Square One Bistro was last summer. The interior looks almost exactly the same as Square One's, though the art on the wall may have changed. The outside has a nice patio with umbrellas set up on it, and is right along the bike path... looks like a nice stop for lunch if you're doing a long ride along the Cape Cod Rail Trail, and passing through Brewster. The front of the building has a smaller, square shaped dining area and bar built in against the far wall. There are about 6-8 chairs at the bar for dining and drinking. The back of the restaurant has a larger, more rectangular shaped yellow dining area with larger tables and seating for groups as well as couples and singles.

The menu is eclectic, and there's a variety of appetizers, wood stone pizzas, salads, burgers and more. We tried the Middle East Mezza appetizer to share for the table. The Mezza is a great medley of stuffed grapes, hummus, tabouli, baba ghannouj, cucumber yogurt served with sliced pita bread. The flavors are really authentic middle eastern, and it was all very fresh and refreshing.

We also tried and liked the wood stone pizzas, they were delicious and served up on the table, resting on top of giant tomatoe cans plastered in Ardeo stickers as disguise & PR. Again, everything tasted muy fresh.

It's nice to have a different choice for a restaurant in Brewster, the pickings can be slim and there is always room and open arms for more restaurants to come this way...

At the end of the day, here are the important questions Claude would ask:

1. Can you get all kinds of hammered in the place?
   Well, I guess so but wouldn't recommend it.
   
2. Howza bout dropping the f-bombs like mad?
   Probably not going to fly so well, but a few could likely pass.
   
3. Am I gonna walk out of there still hungry or roll out?
   Somewhere in the middle to the roll out side of the spectrum.
   

Welcome Home Alan Johnston

We are beyond thrilled, grateful and relieved to hear the news that Alan Johnston has been released in the Gaza Strip! The BBC Journalist was kidnapped and held in captivity for four months, and released on July 4th, 2007। We are so happy for Alan and his family for his safe return. Welcome home.

To read more on Alan Johnston, please see the BBC web site page devoted to him.

Open Letter to Claude Fans Everywhere

Ever since Claude's been on the wagon, he's been working on honing his multifarious other habits, and hobbies too. The following letter is from Claude, who asked to not be photographed for this article, as he hasn't fully recovered from the Jackson incident.


Open Letter to Claude Fans Everywhere:
Yo! What up homies? So I need your help here, as recently I've been on lock-down. I can't get at no booze here, and the shakes have come and gone already. To illustrate just how much I've learned and grown from this wagon crap, I wrote this poem:

I've been thinkin'
This not drinking'
Things for the birds

My brains achin'
I'm not fakin'
Lock-downs a turd

Rehabs for the dogs
Lilo's an f-n hog
I want my booze!


SOS,
Claude


Note: Claude asked me to clarify for some of my readers who aren't in the know, Lilo is Lindsay Lohan. He said if you weren't hip to that, you should really be spending more time on this web site. Peace out.

Gracie's Table

We rangled together a small crowd on Friday night and headed off to Dennis, in search of a good dinner and drinks. Claude was unable to join us, as he suffered a rather sensitive accident which left him requiring a whole new wardrobe, and unfit to be seen in public. Gracie's Table has been on our list of restaurants to hit for a long time, so we decide to give that a try.

Luckily for our car, we had a good land mark as I had recently been to Buckie's Biscotti. Unlucky for car number two, they had not been to Buckie's. Gracie's Table is located at 800 Main Street (Route 6A) in Dennis. Signage for the restaurant is not the greatest, and, in general, this applies to all businesses located in this particular village shopping area.

The restaurant has a small bar area, tucked in a corner that looks cozy and intimate. We headed through the downstairs dining room full of diners and fantastic scents of spices and food, and up the stairs to one of two dining rooms. You feel like you might be in someone's Cape cottage-turned cozy restaurant. Upstairs is a small dining room that looks ideal for private
parties. The upstairs is about half seated when we arrive, and continues to be sat throughout our stay. It feels like the upstairs is a little more relaxed, and you can be a little more rowdy if you should so choose to be.

The menu had a very nice array of tapas, Spanish style dishes that are meant to share, along with entrees. We are in fascination and love with the tapas, and end up ordering almost one of everything. We ordered up the frog legs, roasted red pepper filled with saffron rice, the potatoes of importance, pear and cheese filled ravioli, pork adobo, littleneck clams with chorizo, spicy chickpeas & hand cut fries.

The dishes all looked wonderful,very colorful, fresh, and absolutely full of fragrance. The one dish I cannot bring myself to taste are the frog legs, they look so much like the bottom half of a frog I can't bear it. As a kid, I'd bring home frogs to the garage in hopes of having them stick around like good pets. Our friends eating the frogs legs loved them, and said they were delightful and tasty.

The pear and cheese filled raviolis are so savory and delicious we order a second of these right away. Served with two giant sized raviolis per tapas plate, and adorned with whole roasted garlic cloves, we wanted a few more big bites to go round the table. The pepper dish stuffed with saffron rice is one of our favorites. The dish is served with a line of smaller sized red peppers, individually stuffed with saffron rice. The peppers are perfectly delicious, and combination of rice perfect. The pork adobo is spicy and zesty, and served pulled pork style.

The dining staff is quite lovely and very pleasant. They are attentive, and clear and check in with you at just the right times. We noted they kept good care of a neighboring couple, who was en route to the theatre, making sure to get them off to the show on time.

The drinks were really our only area of concern and disappointment. The bottled beer selection was limited, wine choices looked slim, and martini style drinks were on the pricey side at $11. Two of the mixed drinks we ordered ended up tasting like light pours at the bar. The Sangria was OK, and the fresh slices or orange, lime & lemon look great in it, but we're glad we didn't order the pitcher.

By the time dinner wrapped up, we were too full for dessert or after dinner drinks. It was a great amount of food, not too much and definitely not too little. We loved the flavors and will definitely go back to Gracie's Table.

Why Claude's On The Wagon

It's been awhile. Last we spoke, we were talking up our big trip over to Martha's Vineyard and our fancy pants dinner reservations at a primo restaurant there. Nothing happened to the reservation, per se, except for the fact we had a little mystery dinner guest of our very own accompanying us on this said trip. After laying pretty low for a few years, Claude decided to make a reappearance back out on the scene.

Claude and I go back, way back to the night we met at Denny's at about two in the morning. He was just hanging out there all by himself, surrounded by a mountain full of plates of runny egg puddles and maple syrup swamps. He looked a little freaked out, over-caffeinated, and in need of plan B. Being as diminutive as Claude is, we sent Swatley in for the mission. At 6"5, he was the best man suited for the job, for sure.

Returning to our table with Claude, Swatley started chatting him up like they were old acquaintances. Naturally, I joined in the conversation and Claude and I too became fast friends. Just like that, he wasn't all full of crap and opinions on everything and a new mantra you must digest. He was just Claude.

Fast forward to the very recent past, and I do promise there will be more Claude stories to follow in the near future, but for the brevity of the blog sake, I should be getting back to our MV trip.

So Claude is along for the ride on our MV trip, and on the ferry ride over out of Woods Hole, he starts talking smack about how fortuitous it is that Kentucky Derby and Cinco De Mayo happen to fall on the same day. The Derby talk quickly hones in on the proper drinks to be drinking in honor of the occasion. You see, Claude is a walking mixologist, he's dined with Hollywood stars, drank keggers at UMASS Amherst, and lived in Paris, France. He can rattle off where to get the best margarita in LA, who makes the best dirty martini in NYC, and which Notting Hill hot spots have the best drinks combined with best scene all wrapped up in the same pretty sentence.

For the Derby, he tells us that the chances of us finding a proper mint julip on MV are like a snowballs chance in Hell, so we better come up with a different drink of the day pronto. We discuss the pros and cons of beer, margaritas, and wine. We settle on margaritas and are off in search of a good place for margaritas and watching the race.

We pull up some bar stools at Season's in Oak Bluffs, and order appetizers and Cadillac Margaritas on the rocks. The spring rolls were a little on the greasy fried outside side, but tasty and the dipping sauce was the expected yummy sweet orangy tangy sauce. The peanut satay was good, the pieces of chicken were loaded with curry flavor. The dipping sauce was pretty watery in consistency though, we were expecting something a little thicker. The margartitas were excellent and that's what mattered most that day.

Three margaritas later, we decided to get a move onto our next destination. For the rest of the afternoon and into the early evening, we weaved our way through Oak Bluffs and over to Edgartown. Margaritas became the theme of the day, with Claude entertaining us with stories galore about what types of tequila we should try in our next margarita. Claude declared a new MV mission, we were to squeeze in as many different drinking establishments as possible on this splendid, sunny trip to Martha's Vineyard.

Time was ticking on and it was looking like we were not in any shape to be attending a swank dining establishment. Claude, of course, looked stellar and composed as always, in his usual green outfit. We on the other hand were getting louder and laughing harder by the minute. A call needed to be made on the dinner reservation. We cancelled it with mixed feelings for sure, but under the circumstances, we really felt it was the right thing to do. For the sake of the small children, and anyone seated within earshot.

Gold star for us for fitting in as many drinking establishments as possible in one trip to Martha's Vineyard. In a follow up posting we can recount what those were. That is if we can recall them.

And that my friends, is why Claude's on the wagon.

Sharpening my Pencil

Hola peeps! I am just so excited about my upcoming trip this weekend to Martha's Vineyard, that I'm already sharpening my pencil in anticipation. I'll be reporting back from Edgartown, Martha's Vineyard with a restaurant review from the island.

It being the shoulder season yet here on the Cape and Islands, figuring out the trip logistics and details is proving a bit more difficult, but we're up for the technical challenge.

I've made a few changes on the blog: added email icons so you can email the stories, added rss feed to subscribe, added tags for story labels. Am still debating whether to enable comments, thus far my experience on sites had been comments = attract psychos to your website. We shall see.

Peace out.

JCrew - Better Check your Pockets

Before I launch into the story about JCrew and your pockets, let me first announce I'm sharpening my pencil as you read this for a super restaurant review next weekend. We'll be ferrying over to Martha's Vineyard to dine at one of Edgartown's most exclusive restaurants, so stay tuned next week!

So recently I purchased a few things from JCrew, from their online website. When the box arrived, I opened it up and tried on everything. Thankfully, it all seemed to fit just fine so far. Getting down to the last item to try on, I pulled up the pants and went to button them. Only, no button. Hello, button? But, I just bought this new thing and it's supposed to be all bright and shiny like, and, wtf happened? Thinking, did it get all busted up in the shipping and handling? Shaking the box and ransacking through the packaging a second time, I look down and stick my hands into my pockets of my button-less pants. What's this? A piece of paper it feels like, pulling it out I unfold it and read it aloud... "button fell off". Hmm, well yes, by George, that seems to be the case!I do believe you got it.

But, my shiny, new thing is not new? I just ordered it... my brain, it hurts from thinking about it. And do I return it back to them and need to fill out the return slip too? As if to say, hey guys, guys. Listen up for a second, you remember these pants that were supposed to go to returns? Well, can you please put them in the right bucket this time? I mean really. Is that so much to ask?

Homestar Runner

In case you aren't familiar with Homestar Runner and his gang, you really need to check out his web site. You can call him Homestar Runner, or Fluffy Puff Marshmallow, or Lionel Ritchie. But pretty much just Homestar Runner. Homestar will keep you entertained for hours, or as long as you have time to spend with him & the gang.

My personal favorite today on Homestar's site is in the 'Toons section. Here's a link to the 'Toons. Once you're there, check out An Important Rap Song. It's by Crack Stuntman, and if that doesn't make you laugh I'm afraid I can't help you either.

A huge "Thank You!" to my amazing friend who introduced me to this website!

The Roo Bar - Hip, Contemporary Cuisine

The Roo Bar serves up contemporary cuisine in a chic, upbeat and artsy atmosphere. It reminds me of TriBeCa Grill. Their Chatham location has great brick walls and very tall ceilings. The custom metal wine racks and blown glass lights are designed by local artists, and help give the restaurant its feel. The wine list is impressive, and offers many selections by the glass as well as bottle * gold star *.

We tried the calamari, which is served with avocado aoili and marinara dipping sauces. Mixed in with the calamari are pieces of pepper, which are also lightly battered and fried. We love the pepper, and the sauces are both great to pair with calamari.

The menu has lots of fun choices for appetizers and entrees. We try the lobster maki rolls, which have lobster tempura on the inside. They are delicious, and the tempura is still a little crunchy to give them just the right texture.

We tried a wood fired pizza, which sounded great from the menu description. Sadly, this was not our favorite dish, and we've had better pizza there before. We also tried a steak dish that was served with asparagus and mashed potatoes.

For dessert we tried the chocolate martini, which was out of this world yummy. The secret ingredient is ButterShots, which makes almost any after dinner drink even better.

The atmosphere at Roo Bar really enhances the meal, the background music is consistently good and the service and bartenders are top of the line, and smokin' hot!

MYSTERY DINNER GUEST SCORE:

Food - 7/10
Service - 9/10 - They are simply delightful!
Atmosphere - 8/10

Gerardi's Cafe - Authentic Italian Cuisine

Getting back to business... we recently dined at Gerardi's Cafe on Route 28 in West Dennis. Gerardi's is owned and operated by Diego and Sasha Gerardi, and serves up fresh and authentic Italian cuisine that will not disappoint.

Gerardi's is a teeny tiny restaurant with few tables and reservations are strongly recommended. They also offer take-out, which is great for summer nights when tourists are rampant on the Cape. When you walk in the door, you're met with aromas of baked tomato sauce, garlic, and freshly brewed Cappuccino. It feels much like a European bistro.

For an appetizer, we tried the Chicken & Prosciutto and shrimp parmegiana. Both were out of this world tasty. The house bread is served with herbed olive oil and just came out of the oven. We try the grilled steak medallions with risotto cakes special, and a veal parmigiana for our entrees. For good measure, we ordered the bruschetta with goat cheese.

For dessert, we tried the home made cannolis and cappuchinos. The cannolis were perfectly crunchy on the outside and deliciously creamy inside. Service was friendly and excellent, and the food just off the charts. Go now!

MYSTERY DINNER GUEST SCORE:

Food - 9/10
Service - 8/10
Atmosphere - If you get the booth, it's an 8/10

Goodbye O'Reilly, Hello Colbert

So this post goes not in the "Restaurant Review" category, nor in "Spring Training" (which are both overdue yet for posting...), but in the "random rant as needed" bucket.

Many of you are familiar with my failed attempts to contact Bill O'Reilly on subject matters of utmost importance. Topics like Michael Jackson, Ashley Olson, Coca-Cola advertising campaigns. Yet, all my correspondence went unresponded. Nothing. Nada. Such a busy man as Bill, consistently calling out people to come and rumble on his show, must not have time to review every letter and email sent to his attention.

Now someone else, hardly a newcomer to the scene, may be worthy of such attention. Yes, I am referring to the one, the only, Stephen Colbert. Quite simply put, the Greatest Living American today. And who could compete?

Spring Training 2007

It's Spring Training time again, which means the "official" baseball season is just around the corner! We flew down to Florida to catch as many games as possible, and managed to see Dice K pitch for the Red Sox against the Dodgers in Vero Beach. Along with being another great add to their already amazing pitching lineup, it looks like beer choices get better with Dice as Kirin is now available in the big cans.

The Red Sox are looking great, and I'm predicting they'll make it to the final four teams this year, if not go all the way. Big Poppi, Manny, Papelbon, Coco Crisp, Shilling, Wakefied, the list of A players goes on and on for the Sox.


"But don't you live in Massachusetts, so you always pick the Sox" you might ask? Well, for over twenty years of my life I lived in New York and Massachusetts, but you won't see me rooting for those money grubbing Yankees. They can keep Johnny Damon, he looks ridiculous with short hair anyway.

My poor, beknighted Father would like it known he is a life-long Yankee fan who thinks "Red Sox suck" should somehow be added to our National Anthem.